Thoughts on my Penultimate Semester

• Why are all my important classes this semester?
  
• Dear god, it takes how long for the busses to get to this new place?
  
• I'm going to be really good about going to class, despite the busses.
  
• Everyone in my program is in all my classes, and my boss teaches half of them. I really can't slack off.
  
• Oh god. What if I slack off?
  
• I know for a fact I am going to spend so much time pretending to study and just watching funny cat videos.
  
• I should find some way of blocking cat videos on my laptop.
  
• Cat videos would be so much better to watch on my desktop anyway.
  
• Maybe I should set up a program for collecting cat videos on my desktop, that way I'm not tempted to watch them during class.
  
• Wait. Was I really thinking about watching cat videos in class?
  
• Maybe if I show my boss cat videos every morning before class, I won't be tempted to watch them in class.
  
• Then if I do watch cat videos in class, it would be alright.
  
• I can't watch cat videos during class.
  
• These classes are important. It doesn't matter if my boss is alright with it, she only teaches half my classes.
  
• I could totally just stop watching cat videos for the semester.
  
• Seriously just cold turkey. None what so ever.
  
• That sounds stressful. I'm going to watch a cat video real quick.

• I think this semester is going to go swimmingly.
  

(Replace cat videos with facebook, twitter, tumblr, books, music, fencing, board games, writing, blogging, eating, sleeping, working out, and/or cat videos.)

Kittens and Dinosaurs

I have no content for you this week. Here are pictures of cool kittens and dinosaurs.

Locked into a struggle of life and death: the loser will undoubtedly starve.

Play is extremely important for developing spacial awareness and social skills.

Simply adorable.

A vicious hunter eyes it's unsuspecting prey.

A medium-sized, heavily built, ground-dwelling, quadrupedal herbivore that can grow up to an estimated 16.4 ft long. 

Cutest little orange fluff ball.

Things You Should Read

Mostly horror, but the good kind. Like the monster in my closet that I feed stuffed animals to.
(It also eats house centipedes.)

Apothecia -- Taz Muir and Shelby Cragg

• Free Downloads of 'Speculative Fiction 2012' and '13 today as listed on Reddit. A combination of excellent articles and blog posts about writing and reading better.
  (Profits typically go to Room to Read, so if you like these collections you should send money that way. Thanks Angus!)
• The Shirley Jackson Award-winning short story, 57 Reasons for the Slate Quarry Suicides, by the most excellent Sam J. Miller.A truly wonderful horror story that speaks for itself.
  (Which was just awarded this past weekend.)
• The up-and-coming horror comic Apothecia by the exceedingly talented duo Taz Muir and Shelby Cragg.
  Lots of weird biology, so that's just A+ in my books.
  (Things are really starting to pick up and move. I'm very excited.)
• Jeff VanderMeer's Story Bundle which has such range that all I can tell you is to go pick these bad boys up and take 'em on a date to your personal reading nook.
  (Seriously, if you like weird fiction: this is your cup of tea.)

Games, Prize Pools, and High School Werewolves

--But mostly the first. Here are the video games and tabletops I've been playing around with since I've gotten my desktop back up and running:

• Monsterhearts
  This table top is all about teenagers who are monsters. But seriously like supernatural monsters instead of the traditional rigamarole of just social incompetence. Play about the same as Twilight: The Movie: The Game except fully aware and embracing all the absolutely broken, destructive, confusing, and manipulative behaviours that come with it. Brilliant, beautiful, and fun.
  
• Diablo 2 and Diablo 3
  After waiting to play the successor to my childhood favorite "Kill the Big Evil Dude: Save the World", I've felt like I've been in a bad relationship. I played the second, mostly to try and alleviate any nostalgia I might have. But even now I feel that with slowly aging graphics and often blatant clique usage, it is the better game narrative wise, and I think it has a lot to do with tone.
  The 2nd feels like you are barely succeeding. The hero is not coming in to save the day--they are two steps behind and trying desperately to perform damage control.
  The 3rd is all about the chosen hero having witty banter with the lords of hell and then defeating them even as the armies of hell bear down upon them.
  With a second expansion slated for D3, I can see a glistening path that would make me finally happy with it's narrative direction. I'll hold my breath to see if they manage to salvage it.
  
• Transistor
  A beautiful, tactical, and complex game in a similar style as SuperGiant's first major success, Bastion. Cyberpunk with heavy art deco influences, it follows the escape/revenge of Red, a singer who has lost her voice, with a giant talking computer-sword as they uncover the plots of a mysterious organization that created it.
  Transistor does not want to give up its narrative easily. The plotline is broken into tiny bits and hidden within both the world and also combat itself, as using certain abilities unlocks longer biographies of the city's residents. That combined with the narrator, who is an absolute treat, makes the game highly replayable. I'm going to be sinking a lot more time into this game in the near future.
  
• DOTA 2
  A free-to-play 5v5 isometric wizard'em up produced by Valve. A complex and difficult game which rewards teamwork and communication with a community that often ignores both of these. An exceedingly fun game to play with friends, it is about to start the International 4 (TI4), its 4th international tournament with a staggering prize pool of Ten Million Dollars. (Well, $10,507,475 to be exact.) This is not only the highest monetary prize in all of e-sports, but it is more than all the previous DOTA prize pools combined. This is also impressive as it also held the highest prize pool at $2.8mil from TI3 last year.
  So, if you are interested in witnessing the most heated e-sports event in the world, you can grab a stream or watch from the in-game client as the games start today.

Things I Hate...

... about myself which are unhealthy and I should learn to deal with better.

• Deadlines and procrastination. (This was meant to be posted Monday.)
  
• Obsessing over my own faults. (Hence writing this list.)
  
• Inability to appreciate my own successes. (Which seems quite a martyrish thing to say.)
  
• Simultaneous need for isolation and interaction. (An exceedingly human quality.)
  
• Assumptions that guile and previous experience trump practice. (Always.)
  
• Assumptions that literally everyone else is more experienced than myself. (Not always a fault.)
  
• My body image.  (I really don't

Screw that. I'm twenty three and sick of dealing with this insecurity.

I'm going to go write about robots and eat ice cream and drink more coffee. Maybe a good book. Transistor is actually really lovely and I really dig the aesthetic. Not good for my sleep schedule, but I'm alright with that. Maybe I'll write Transistor fan fiction. That sounds like a good plan. Yes. 

Also, contribute to my Clarion Write-a-Thon drive and get awful haikus (one per dollar). 

My current haiku completion stats are sitting at a solid 20/40 so those will get done and sent out before week's end.

This will be all green by the end of the week without your help.
FIGHT THE GREEN MENACE! DONATE TODAY! 

First World Vacation Issues

Hey guys, I'm currently on the road with the family on our great tour to rescue my sister (her Imperial Majesty) from her marine studies in Louisiana. We can only rescue her tomorrow so we are spending the weekend in Universal Studios. So rather than make you all jealous about the cool stuff I've been seeing, here instead is all the stuff that has gone wrong thus far:

• We ran into three troops of boy scouts as we were trying to get food on the way down.
• We stopped to watch the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket go off. The mission was scrubbed.
• My sister's (the Wild One) tickets were all in my other sister's (her Imperial Majesty) name.
• We arrived one weekend too early to get into Diagon Alley in the Harry Potter section of the park.
• We completely missed the Jurassic Park Discovery Center on our circuit of the park.
• I did not get a picture with Captain America.
• One of the pianists at the bar was mixing up their Irish and Jewish stereotypes when they were singing Irish drinking ballads.

If this seems short, it's because it is. We've had an absolute blast thus far.

Bonus Write-a-Thon Update: We've got a list of C'13 instructors and students participating on our year's official home page. Help spread the love to some of these wonderful people! (And also to me. I'm currently only 20 haikus behind on my backlog.)

Haikus! (and the Clarion Write-a-Thon)

    Guys, I'm about to begin a journey for the Clarion Write-a-Thon which helps eighteen fledgling science fiction and fantasy writers each year attend Clarion USCD, a six week workshop with absolutely amazing set of award-winning instructors. It was a completely life changing and insanely positive experience when I had the privilege to attended last year, and I honestly can't say how much it has impacted me as a person let alone as an author.

    But I was only able to attend with help from the MSU Knight-Wilhelm Scholarship, and not everyone is so fortunate to attend Michigan State to qualify for it. So, I am going to be writing to raise money for scholarships to help people afford to make the leap.

    For my Write-a-Thon, I will be attempting to get six stories out the door in six weeks. While doing that, I'm also trying to get my MS thesis done, fit in a few adventures, and trying not to devolve into a puddle of self-loathing. And while this seems daunting, I am happy to share a little secret:

You Can Help!

 If you want to help here's the gameplan: 

Haikus for Donations

• By donating to my drive, I'll personally write haikus for you.
• For each dollar that you donate, I will write you one haiku.
      ($1 = 1 Haiku, $20 = 20 Haikus, and so forth)
• I will send them to you via Facebook, Twitter, or email.
      (Your preference.)
• If I cannot send them via those, they will be posted in a weekly abandoned haiku post.
• Anonymous donations will also count to the haiku count and go to the abandoned haiku post.
• Making a pledge means that for each story I send out, I will write that many haikus for you. 

Warnings and Disclaimers

• I am not a poet.
• These will not be edited.
• You have no say in content, but that's half the fun. 
• Expect awful prose.
• It will take me time to keep on top of this, but all haikus will be written within a week of donation. (Threats of further donations are encouraged.)
• Vulgarity, obscenity, and crude jokes will be avoided to the best of my ability.

So, you donate money to support fledgling authors and I write haikus and short stories. It's a win-win.

Again, you can find my drive page here or on the list of authors participating. (I'm right under Kim Stanley Robinson!) And if you have more money burning a hole in your pocket or you want to spread the love amongst several other authors, these are other Clarion USCD 2013 folks that would appreciate your support:

• Jessica Cluess 
• Thom Dunn (whose spiel can be found here.)
• Gabriella Santiago 
• Marie Vibbert 
• Alyssa Wong

The Beers I Drank in College

These are a very brief summary of the types of beers that I drank, and still drink, from my undergrad years. I have enjoyed others, but these are staples.

1. PBR
       Typical light lager. Perfect for a warm day or a crowded music venue. Taste reminiscent of days at the beach, film crews, houses painted blue, and things you've lost and will never see again.


2. #9 - Magic Hat
       Pale ale on the tender side of hoppy. Good for small parties and card games. Taste reminiscent of dive bars, private talks in kitchens, dungeons and dragons, and hanging out with people again for the first time in months.


3. Oberon - Bell's
       Wheat ale with citrus notes. Good for family gatherings and summer holidays. Taste reminiscent of graduation parties, patios with comfortable chairs, teaching euchre, and afternoons stretching into warm evenings.


4. Dragon's Milk - New Holland Brewery
       High gravity stout. Excellent as the one beer you drink over a night. Taste reminiscent of formal wear, the song you last danced to as a freshman, still knowing all the words, and talking about fencing well after midnight.


5. Guinness
       Irish dry stout. Good for movie marathons and distant cities. Taste reminiscent of words on the page, couch cushion forts, karaoke, and trying to figure out which episode is next at three in the morning.

Software Dump

A non-comprehensive set of software that I rely upon daily.

1.  Chrome- Not necessarily better than Firefox, but I've got all my stuff on here.
   (Has viewed 903 unique cat pictures this week.)
       <Web Browser>
2. Spotify- Most of my music selection has been sent to the cloud (for better or worse).
   (Listens to literally only one playlist.)
       <Cloud Music Player>
3. Scrivener- You don't need scrivener to write, but by god does it help.
   (Totally Not Stockholm Syndrom.)
       <Writing Suite>
4. Steam- Also known as my Dota 2 updating service.
   (577 lifetime hours recorded. Utter noob.)
       <Gaming Platform>
5. Notung 2.8- Shameless work plug. I hear it has a GUI too, but I haven't seen it in a while.
    (Yes, I know 2.7 is beta, and 2.8 is dropping next weekend.)
       <Phylogenetics Engine>
6. Python 2.7- Yes, I know there's a 3.0. Give me another 6 years and I'll switch.
   (aka I'm glad the industry uses this so I don't have to learn another.)
       <Programing Language>
7. Emacs- You could use a different word processor. You could also be wrong.
   (Totally Stockholm Syndrom.)
       <Text Editor>
8. Powerpoint- Also known as the devil's drawing board.
   (Source of at least 8 hours of rampant cussing and 1 therapy session this week.)
       <Presentation Editor>
9. GIMP- When I, who have no visual-artistic skill, need to draw something.
   (Man. I really wish I knew how to draw.)
       <Image Editing Suite>
10. Fugu- When I am too lazy to just ssh in and scp stuff over.
    (Ooooo... drag and drop.)
        <SSH client>

Writing Process Blog Tour

Writing Process Blog Tour: June 3, 2014

After finally getting to summer vacation alive (marked by WisCon 38 and all its glory), Alyssa Wong, who has recently published her first short story, The Fisher Queen in F&SF (May/June 2014), has invited me to join the Writing Process Blog Tour.
I'm not one to turn down a pretty face, especially when she's holding a tiny bonesaw to my radial nerve. 

1. What am I working on?

Currently I have a few drafts that I'm juggling, one of which deals with an abstracted (i.e. a concrete) version of phylogenetic trees and some personal family history. Another is a robot detective story in which I'm dealing with capturing non-human, non-centralized thoughts on the page. My other short story draft currently in progress is a story about siblings, weaving, and gender that is currently undergoing another complete rewrite.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I do science for my day job, which is not terribly uncommon for SF writers, but I don't typically stick to just hard science fiction when I write. 

My fantasy--when it works--is tied to a concept I hold very closely. I like to take something with subtle power: the true relationship between two living things, the heavy reliance upon something both alien and intimate, or the idea that words can mean something. I like to take that concept and then give it power, something that you can hold and use to your advantage. Often with consequence. 

My science fiction tends to focus on traditional F&SF tropes (robots primarily), but by comparing both the actual limitations that we've encountered and the golden age science fiction concepts that we are striving towards (or away from). What I've seen work best for me is "quiet SF" where people wrestle with the future made today and what they expected it to be. I write loud SF sometimes, but it just doesn't seem to work for me all that often.

3. Why do I write what I do?

I grew up deeply loving the narrative of science and read speculative fiction voraciously, as many young children do. I love the heartbreak that can come from science, the optimism that permeates the atmosphere, and the seemingly bizarre and contradicting systems that develop from pursuing and cataloging it. Most of all, I love that even in the face of complex and unknowable systems, humans rationalize and dull even the most fascinating phenomena. We take a world of wonder and beauty and manage to distill it into Organic Chemistry 101 and Introduction to Calculus.

I write because I think that sometimes we need to fall in love with bizarre but earthly ideas. That we need to see the beauty of microfloral biofilms and the elegance of statistical analysis. Abstract but stable ideas that let us understand the world a little bit better.

4. How does your writing process work?

First, as I think most writers start, I need to find an idea. Usually it's something simple. Something I'm deeply afraid of works best, but things I worry about work too. Then I find a scientific concept that I think pairs with it. Something that is both affected by and influences the idea. I've tried writing one without the other, and it just doesn't seem to work for me.

Then I need driving time. It takes about 5 hours to drive to my parent's house two states away, and while most of that time is spent singing wildly to various playlists, a lot of that is plotting. I iterate scenes in my head and will create and destroy several character concepts. The fear and the concept fight and form interference patterns with each other in my head: parts they agree on, and parts where they do not. I usually have very little control over how exactly they decide to interact. On shorter trips (usually 1-2 hours) I can write down what I've thought of at the end, but longer trips need note-taking stops (as well as gas, coffee, and bathroom breaks).

After that I start writing. I usually have a solid scene order and character intentions at that point. Most of it is liable to shift and change, but those central concepts usually stick. Then it's just a point of fleshing it out. Then it's nailing it out and editing until my eyes bleed. I'm still figuring out what works best for me on that front.

Next on the tour are Thom Dunn and Will Kaufman! Be sure to read their blogs and look for their posts on June 10th! 

Thom Dunn is a Clarion UCSD graduate of 2013, lover of punk rock, and has had a love affair with footnotes that the rest of the population could only imagine. 

Will Kaufman is also a Clarion 2013 graduate, the "proud owner of 34 vertebrae," and the writer of stories so beautifully haunting that I've had to start burning sage when I read them.

Rejected Superpowers

My sister (the Wild One) just saw the new X-men movie. So of course she asked me what her superpowers should be. I am apparently not good at writing superpowers for teenage girls. Here are the ones she rejected (and one she picked):

1. Dendropathy - the ability to control wood with your mind
       tWO: <Wood? Really wood>
2. The ability to cause paintings and objects to speak
       tWO: <No>
3. Prehensile Hair
       tWO: <What? No>
4. Shapeshifting into various apex predators
       tWO: <Haha, no. I want a really cool power>
5. Can cause seismic events with voice
       tWO: <Telepathy, or flying, or water control are cool powers>
       PJR:  <Water control is cool, but not wood?>
       tWO: <Yes.>
       PJR:  <You are ruined by pop culture.>
6. The ability to turn into shadows
       tWO: <That's kind of cool>
7. Joy Induction - ability to cause manic episodes in those around you
       tWO: <What are you trying to say?>

In the end, after a few suggestions on her end we did end up going with "turning into shadows" plus dark energy bolts and a paralysing touch. Sounds like a cohesive skillset and some good potential weaknesses. Now we've got to come up with a name, which might be a little more work. (I am told nothing cute, and no girl/woman postfixes. At least she knows what she wants.)


Bonus: What the Wild One guesses our other sister's pseudonym is.

1. the Killing One
2. the Blood Drawer
3. the One Scarier than Most of the People You'll Ever Meet in Prison
4. the Basilisk
5. the One I'm sure is a Serial Murderer
   
   The answer?
6. her Imperial Majesty

Things I learned at WisCon 38

These are a mixture of personal and second-hand knowledge gleaned from this weekend.

1. Always buy the anthology before the panel. It will be sold out and force you to order it online instead. (I'm looking at you Long Hidden.)


2. Walgreens closes at 8pm. Take precautions.


3. Be prepared to cull your party size to get seating at Nepalese restaurants.


4. Absolutely nothing is open on Memorial Day.


5. Hot tubs are always legitimate locations to hold critique sessions.


6. That person you were just talking to might be an editor and might not appreciate your opinions on Legend of Korra. (Even if you are right.)


7. Flights are skittish things and can be delayed indefinitely and without notice.


8. The hotel bar will close before you can actually start drinking, but the wait staff is amazing.


9. The iPhone Facebook app will not let you view any friend requests from all the awesome people you meet. Twitter is a much more reliable system.


10. If someone suggests that a particular piece of clothing would look good on you for the Floomp, believe them. (What could possibly go wrong?)


11. WisCon 39 sounds like an absolute blast.